She Loves Me Not: Worst Valentine's Day Cards of All Time

Brian
February 2, 2010

Not all Valentine's Day cards are sweet, tender mementos of affection. Some are dirty, some are hilarious (intentional or not), and still others seem to have been conceived in the midst of the massacre that bares this holiday's name. The following get my vote for the worst Valentine's Day cards of all time.

A bad day to be a dove... Now we know where cupids get their wings. Go ahead, make my Valentine's Day... Another anti-Valentine's Day card undoubtedly drawn by a jilted lover who probably laughed along with Judge Doom when he Dipped the Squeaky Shoe in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Looking rather dapper... Honestly, my wife would kill me if I went out dressed like that. She's probably kill me if I gave her a Valentine's Day card with a cupid dressed like that. At least he's made his intentions clear! Dirty Valentine's lovin'... ...gone horribly, horribly wrong.

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About Brian Morris

Brian Morris serves in various capacities as a freelance writer, content developer and public relations specialist for growing small businesses. When he’s not writing, he can be found on the racquetball court - usually getting his tail kicked by guys 20 years older.

Anonymous's picture
January 07, 2016 03:21 am #

Have never had a valentines card, looking at these don't feel so badly about it!! At least Harpo Marx has modestly placed whatever the hell it is!

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January 07, 2016 03:21 am #

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Brian January 07, 2016 03:21 am #

Scordale, you're not alone. While 180 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged in the U.S. annually, there are about 304 million people in the U.S.

From a completely unscientific, totally assumptive viewpoint, that means that 160 million Americans do not receive Valentine's Day cards either.

Of course, when you toss in the fact that my original 180 million figure does not include school children giveaways, nor does it take into account the likelihood that the same people are exchanging cards with each other, my 160 million figure should never be quoted. Take it with a grain of salt!

Source: http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_feat...

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January 07, 2016 03:21 am #

Worst Valentine's Day Cards of All Time - just great!

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Brian January 07, 2016 03:21 am #

Thanks clock - glad you liked them! I just wouldn't send them to your significant other - that is, if you want to still have a significant other!

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