Anti-Valentine's Day Cards

Some of us, even those in happy, healthy relationships, can't stand the schlockiness of Valentine's Day. We find it more fun to poke fun at Valentine's Day, by sending dark, sardonic messages to friends. If you are looking for some anti-Valentine's day inspiration, here are some creative ideas that should help you craft that perfect, twisted yet humorous anti-Valentine's day greeting.

1. Old school Look up your favorite philosopher, playwright or ancient ruler and search for their quotes about love. Here's a good example from the always depressing, Jean-Paul Sartre: "If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." Now find an old dark, sad photo of Sartre somewhere in the creative commons (try Wikimedia Commons) and stick that on the front of the greeting card along with the quote. This tactic also works on a postcard, because the punchline is right on the front. 2. Change-up We all remember this stock experience from grade school. The boy or girl you've had a crush on comes over to your desk on Valentine's Day and hands you a card. For a moment your heart stops as you read the front, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue ..." Then laughter breaks out around you as you read what's inside, "You stink like cheese and I hate you!" If you want to create a classic, change-up card, start with bunnies, flowers, roses and puppies on the front of the greeting card and then hit them with the low brow humor and insults inside. (Not recommended for distribution to a new love interest who may not yet understand your brand of humor!) 3. Crass card If you want to really make an anti-Valentine's Day statement, why not have Cupid shoot himself with his own arrow? Other tasteless ideas include: flesh-eating Valentine's Day zombies, stick figures in compromising situations, cute Valentine's Day animals and pictures gone awry, and explicit anti-Valentine's day copywriting. On one popular e-card site, there's a card with the copy, "Love is like a box of chocolates, it's sweet at first, and then you wanna puke!" The more offensive the better!